It's Here
The big day. The day we have been waiting for, but equally dreading - for a long long time.
Scott goes into hospital tomorrow. This is for his Stem Cell Transplant. He will go in tomorrow to be settled in ready for his Hickman Line being put in on Thursday. He will then have chemotherapy every day starting Friday until he no longer has an immune system. I will not go into too many details, but it is quite a dangerous process. He will then receive blood transfusions, platelet transfusions, an then his stem cells will be warmed up (they are frozen), and re-introduced into his body. We then sit back an wait to see if his immune system kicks back in ok. I will update as and when.
If there is anyone out there that reads my blog (I know Im crap at updating, just too much going on) please say a prayer for him.
xxx

Happy New Year
To everyone. It is a big year for us. Scott is going in for his Stem Cell Transplant (hopefully, beds willing), on the 17th January. It starts with a Hickman Line being inserted. He will then receive chemotherapy every day until his bloods show he has no immune system. His stem cell (which were harvested in November) are then transplanted back into his body, hopefully kickstarting his Immune system. I will let you know how things go.

check this out, its brill.

http://www.slide.com/r/UDF93qmRzj-QCsxfVA80a673FZcniDhB

Digi

Well this is my first ever digi. I am doing Kirsty Wiseman's Digi Tutorial Course and actually managed to do a layout. I'm a total beginner so quite pleased.

Hospital
Scott is going into hospital tomorrow (Nuffield Oxford) for an infusion. Will probably be in most of week. It is basically to try to help him at the moment as he comes down off his medications. He is bedridden right now and has been for some weeks and in the most dreadful pain. Morphine helps but makes him really sleepy. Hence this piccie, which I know he will hate as he is also has cushings syndrome which gives the appearance of a ballooon shape face and puts weight around the middle, due to the very high doses of steroids he is taking. He is normally very slim, but this is an honest diary, so we are going to record the good and the bad. Having said that, I still think he looks gorgeous, even when he is ill.

The Journey.
We are about to set out on a journey. Not a holiday or the type of journey you would particularly want to go on, but a journey all the same.
Scott's Still's Disease has been unremitting for the past couple of years - nothing that the Doctors can do to ease his dreadful pain causing more and more mobility to the point where he is virtually bedbound. After much deliberation by his consultants in Oxford, they have referred him to Southampton General for tests which hopefully all being well will result in him having a Stem Cell Transplant.
It is a very risky procedure and not to be taken lightly. However, Scott's quality of life at the present time actually gives him little choice but to give it a go. He is going into the Nuffield at Oxford next week for a week of infusions.
This will be followed by poor little blighter requiring his sperm frozen as he will become infertile with the chemotherapy.
At the beginning of October, he will undergo a lot of tests down in Southampton and depending on the results of those, the beginning of November will be his first 'priming' dose of chemo, followed by daily injections to promote the growth of stem cells (he is having an autologous stem cell transplant, which means you use your own stem cells - we all have them) There is a lot of controversary surrounding stem cell transplants as most people think you have to use the stem cells of foetus, but that is not true as you can use your own.
When they are certain that Scott is producing a good amount of Stem Cells they will be harvested ready for Transplant. The Transplant is due to take place at the beginning of January, where he will be kept in isolation and giving chemotherapy every day until his immune system is completely knocked out. They then transplant the harvested Stem Cells back into his body in the hope that they will develop a completely new immune system.
I will be using my blog as a 'diary' whilst our journey unfolds.

Jeff Buckley- Hallelujah- Music Video

This is gorgeous. Long intro but worth listening to. Beautiful song.

Im in London. I still find it fascinating that you can access all your info from wherever your are. The internet is indeed a wonderful tool. Mike and I have come down to London to sort out his visa for his Philippine trip. He will be staying with his dad over in the Philippines for quite a while to aid his recovery and also to get to see his dad, who he hasn't seen for over 15 years now. I'm pleasantly surprised at the price of hotels in London. We are staying just over from Kensington Park. A nice hotel, lovely swimming pool, etc. and only 59 pounds per night per room, including brekkie. We arrived on Sunday and booked into a Thistle Hotel which was about 110 pounds per night but they could only fit us in for the one night. I'm quite pleased about this, as we went for a walkabout and found loads of hotels much cheaper, but equally as good. I'm also gobsmacked that they still having smoking rooms. All the hotels have a choice of smoking or non smoking rooms - apparently as they are privately owned property, the rooms can still be smokers rooms - not in the bar or restaurant. I don't smoke personally, but my hubby does and finds it against his civil liberties not to be allowed to smoke. He's happy to choke me to death though! I'm only joking - it has never really been an issue for me. I've never been a smoker, but other people smoking has never bothered me. Everyone to their own. I am teaching hubby how to use email so he can email me from the Philippines instead of phoning. He is also going to be reading my blog so I better be nice. lol.
Hope you are reading this Nicola, cos I'm only updating it cos you said you read my blog!! lol.

Cardmaking (wow, never thought I would do it)
Well, this has been another difficult year so far. I haven't got much scrapping done. However, I feel a bit more positive and will hopefully do a little bit more in the future. I am also starting cardmaking. There are a few reasons for this decision. I have LOADS of stash that I need to use up but it is a bit 'out of date' and I have just gone off it. However, it cost quite a lot so need to use it up. I am going to 'cut it up' for cardmaking. Also I can hopefully satisfy my need for 'Pink and Girly', as most of my scrapbooking isn't girly (having two boys). I also want to sell any cards I make for Charity. Therefore, this cardmaking lark should have a number of uses. It will use up my old stash, allow me to create girly stuff and make a bit of money for Charity. I am also 'stamping' now. Something I haven't really been in to before, but will be able to incorporate this into my Scrapbooking and Altered Art. So, a good idea altogether, I feel. I will post some of my cards, when they are made.

Size Really Does Matter

Bought a fabby new album from Scrapajack yesterday. It is 8.5 x 11, and it is going to make a huge difference to my scrapping mojo. I did a page today and it was sooooo much easier than scrapping 12 x 12. Plus if you want to print something on the page it will fit through the printer. Not that I did. But I might want to. really enjoyed it. I am making an album for my youngest son's birthday (which is next month, so it could end up as a Chrimble pressie yet.lol).
I've had two days of scrapping and have loved it. Scrapajacks crop yesterday and Swindon Crop today. Made a fabby wabby mini book yesterday at Chris's class at Scrapajack, and started to cover it today at Swindon crop, plus did a page for my new album.
This is it.

My hubby Mike, had a stroke almost 3 weeks ago. It has been a very weird time for us all, as we come to terms with the fact he will be fairly disabled for at least the next twelve months. There have been complications in as much as there is some sort of 'mass' on his brain. He has had some seizures. He is 50 this year and is relatively young to have had a stroke. He has been extremely stressed the past few weeks due to certain circumstances which have no doubt contributed to this happening. I have found it particularly hard trying to keep the business going and keeping the family bolstered throughout this time. We are getting there tho.
On a lighter note, I have decided to do some cardmaking. I love Scrapbooking and I love altered art, but my mojo has virtually disappeared of late. Thought I might do some smaller projects. I will do some ATC's and Ive got a couple of other ideas - but thought I would also do some cardmaking - mainly fairies, angels and cute baby, teddy stuff. Having two boys mean most of my scrapbooking isn't usually based on the pretty stuff, so gonna use another outlet to keep that side of me happy.

Long Time - No Post
It has been a long time since I last posted - so my New Year's Resolution, yet again, down the pan.
However, once more into the breach. This year appears to be going the same as most years. More downs than ups. Being a very positive optimistic person normally - I feel as if the 'Gods' are really trying my Faith. Let's see how much we can throw at her, then we will see how positive she is. I'm sure we all feel like this at times. We plough on, regardless, keeping our chin up - not letting life get us down. So, when do we give in - enough is enough - ok, I give up.
That is how I feel right now, Today. Probably tomorrow, I will be ok again. But tonight - I've had enough. Anybody up there listening!!!!! You bloody win. I've had enough.

This is a picture I really like of Mary (my mother in law who passed 48 hours ago). She absolutely loved babies, and this is our Matt, bless. 18 years ago. Mike and I were going into London for the weekend and dropped Matt off with Mary and John (Mikes stepdad). Up to about the age of 3, she would willingly have them, so Mike and I used to make the most of it and go to London quite a lot. However, once they got passed about 3 years old, she never really bothered with them again - which I used to find really odd, but then, heyho we are all different, thank goodness.

Goodbye Mary
My mother-in-law passed over tonight. She was a good woman who has had a very interesting life. Her passing was very peaceful - direct opposite to the torment of the past two years. Poor woman went through hell - she had Lewy Bodies Dementia. When my hubby and I visited her yesterday, she had a very very rare moment of lucidity (for the past six months she hasn't known who we are, or who she is) - she looked at us and said 'I can't do this anymore, I've just had enough, there's only so much you can take and I can't take it anymore'. I knew then her spirit was leaving.
God Bless You Mary - Love and Light. xxxx

Mixed Feelings
Received a phone call yesterday evening from Winchester Hospital. Mike's (hubby) mum is critically ill. Drove down to Winchester today to see what is going on, as Mike's sister can sometimes be a little dramatic (bordering on hysteria, normally). Anyway, besides the Alzheimer's that she has been suffering from, she also suffers with emphesyma. She now has pnueomonia. She hasn't eaten for three days, and the doctors have said they will not resuscitate if she needs it. Due to her alzheimers, she has a fear of anything over her face, so will not allow them to put oxygen mask on her, so they have now decided not to give her oxygen either, as it distresses her too much. Her skin has started to break open and bleed (Im assuming due to lack of fluids), she is taking very very short sharp breaths, her fingertips and lips are blue, and when she coughs she sounds like she is drowning. She is totally disorientated and is asking for her mom (who has been dead 30 years). Good God, we would not allow an animal to go through this. I only pray she will go in her sleep, for her own sake.
I cannot say we have always seen eye to eye. However, I have always respected her as a very intelligent, well travelled, well mannered lady. One of the 'old school' with a military family. Big on etiquette. A little bit prim maybe (compared to me,lol). This is just awful to see her like this, and I know she would be totally horrified herself if she was in her 'right' mind.
Time to make a Living Will, methinks. Bring on Euthanasia for me please.


Left is a picture of Mary (Mike's mum), she is the one in the centre of the piccie. This was taken when she lived in Singapore, 1958. The little blonde fellah, in the right hand corner, is my hubby, no less. lol. (does he look like a little girl, or what!!).pmsl.

Finished At Last

Learned how to make this gorgeous paper bag book in Fiona's Class at ScrappersUnlimited Retreat in Gloucester. I originally wanted to make it for Janine's 21st Birthday in November, but didn't get it finished in time. In fact, didn't finish it in time for Christmas either. However, she has had it today as a New Year gift and she absolutely loved it.

I really enjoyed making it too, so hope to make many more in the future. There's loads of tags and secret places for piccies and inspirational quotes. I made mine on a 'love' theme, with lots of piccies of Scott and Janine. Very pleased with the finished product.

That Awful Call

Remember the little car on the left. The one we bought Matt for his 18th birthday. Well look below, here it is now.

The car is a right-off. 'Thankfully Matt walked away unharmed and no-one else was involved. So thank God all we have lost is money, and I couldn't care in the slightest about every penny of it. Getting that phone call to say he had crashed made my blood run cold. It's awful. Thankfully he was going very slow (God knows what happens at speed), he was travelling over a road full of speed bumps and he thought something had fallen off the car (he said it sounded as if the back windscreen had fallen off - the one we had replaced the month before when it was smashed due to burglars nicking his CD player!!!). He briefly turned to see what had fallen (nothing has it happens), turned back round to find himself being wrapped round a lamp post. The car was proclaimed a 'right off' due to the chassis having been pushed right back and the roof kinking, or something similar. The car seemed jinxed. Broken into twice, and now this - all since June. So, its gone - kapput. We have had it scrapped and informed DVLA so that it can never be used again.

I was talking to a fireman friend of mine (I used to be married to one). The day before he had had the terrible terrible job of releasing four young teenagers killed in a car crash near Worcester. The car had hit a tree. My heart breaks for the phone call their parent's must have received.

I told him about Matt's crash and how he thankfully walked away unhurt (bit of wiplash). He said that sometimes it is 'good', if that is the right word, for a young male to have a bump in the first year of driving as long as no-one is hurt. It brings their mortality home to them and they seriously think about their driving skills. They tend to think they are invincible, don't they, these youngsters.

Just wanted to get that post out of the way before the New Year.

Welcome to his new little car, a Hyundai, that we have bought for him. He needs a car for his job as he works about 8 miles away from where he is living with my sister. She lives out in the sticks so there isn't even public transport for him to get into Worcester. He does have the option of living with us in Swindon, but he has found a job that he absolutely loves (he is a personal trainer), and doesn't want to give it up. So, hopefully, a lesson will have been learnt and his eyes will no longer stray from that road!

New Year Resolution
Ok. So, it is only the 29th, but my New Year Resolution is going to be 'I will update my Blog on a regular basis'. Haven't been around much lately. A lot going on as usual. However, my youngest son put it all into perspective for me. 'Considering you do all this meditation stuff and are always preaching about the power of positive thinking - how come you go to pieces whenever you are stressed over us kids'. Wow, totally correct. The rest of the world with all the good and bad, I can cope with. My motto 'what doesn't kill ya, makes you stronger', for me, only seems to work as long as my kids aren't involved. So, I have had a good think over the Christmas holiday, and my son is totally right. I need to practice what I preach on a daily basis, whatever is going on in my life, good or bad. It has not been a good year, and I have found I have only been able to scrap and blog when things are going ok. So, hopefully, all that is going to change. Life is life, good bad and ugly on a daily basis. I love my scrapping and intend to try really hard to keep it all going throughout the bad times as well as the good. I will also find time to meditate regularly and continue practising my spirituality. I used to sit in a 'circle'. Haven't done that for a while. If work allows, I will try to join another circle (difficult though as it isn't something you can just 'turn up' to occasionally - it is a commitment). So, for now bloggers, I leave you with this piccie - Its an old one, but one of my favourites of my son and his girlfriend. (I hope to take more piccies and put them on my blog - cos I know when I read blogs, I love to look at the piccies). Piccie mad us Scrappers. lol.
btw. whats with the new google blog thing that they are asking us to use on Blogger?

This is cool. Im showing off me A plus. give it a whirl.

Your Vocabulary Score: A+

Congratulations on your multifarious vocabulary! You must be quite an erudite person.

How's Your Vocabulary?

Good News/Bad News.
The good news is, that after a very rocky, tempestuous year, Scott and Janine seem to have worked it all out. They are back together, and appear very happy. What a true saying 'The course of true love never runs smooth'. Think this saying was made for these two. There is no doubt about it, they completely love each other, and hopefully now they have both realised this, and got over all the silly jealousies and game playing, they may be able to settle down to 'being happy together'. Lets Hope.
The bad news, however, is that after an emergency appointment yesterday with Scott's Rheumy, it appears there is a possibility he has TB. He is being admitted within the next 24 hours for tests. This could explain why the last 2 months he has been in a flare with his 'Arthur', that we cannot get under control. I have total faith in his Consultant - even though I only found out today that the medication he has been injecting himself with for the past (almost) 3 years, leaves you susceptible to TB.